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Playgirls of Munich

Monday, November 24, 2014

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Zebedy Colt and Roger Caine play two mixed-up American telephone repairmen who stow away on a plane and end up parachuting out over Munich, Germany during the Olympics. Broke and horny, the guys meet up with a lovely young fraulein who gets them a job – but not before introducing them to sex, German style! It’s one riotous mishap after another as the bumbling buffoons go from job to job – and girl to girl – in an attempt to make enough cash to get back to the States. But with all the blazing bratwurst and hot wenches these guys have on their hands, who’d want to go back? Actually shot on location in Munich, this is a slap-happy sexvid that will keep you in stitches – even as it drives you wild.

Despite the genre’s title of adult film, some porno has an almost slapstick quality to it that, save for the explicit footage of reaming and creaming, seems designed to appeal to children. Oftentimes, the plots are silly, non-objective, unrealistic, reminiscent of ABBOT AND COSTELLO or some kind of cartoon show. PLAYGIRLS OF MUNICH is exactly that sort of production; a goofy, German-themed travelogue of tail by two American blue collar yokels who were perhaps the world’s first two “sex tourists” to have their exploits “documented” in an adult film. Before they are done, they will have not only had their way with a smorgasboard of German women of easy repute (and under the wackiest of circumstances), but will have also fucked the viewer’s ears with every Bratwurst/Penis joke possible. Still, if you have always wanted to see actual sex scenes accompanied by smooth, cool instrumental accordion, this just might put the “Yank” in your Yankovic.
Our two intrepid adventurer low-lifes are named Chuck and Barney, played by Roger Caine and Zebedy Colt (who I like to think of as the Freddie Mercury of porn directors). The two bumbling technicians are contracted to put a telephone line in a single engine Cessna upon which they stow away for no apparent reason. They are caught, and forced to parachute out, landing right in the middle of the Munich Visitors Center during the 1972 Olympic Games. While it’s not very believable that a small aircraft could reach Germany on a single tank of fuel, it’s even less believable that these two louts are adopted by the beautiful Gretchen, who takes these two weirdoes home with her and screws Barney while Chuck is forced to read a porno magazine. Luckily, Gretchen’s dad owns a bar, and Chuck and Barney are given a job for the span of an entire minute. After much breaking of mugs and general incompetence, the pair are soon chased out into the street, thus starting a strange dynamic of scenes of impromptu sexual conquests followed by angry persecution that will persist for the duration of the film.
Much like the Three Stooges before them, Chuck and Barney take on a strange series of jobs and embark on wacky adventures, only to be chased away by someone at the end after they screw everything up. From working security for Miss Bavaria to posing as ski instructors or hiding out in a high class brothel, Chuck and Barney have lots and lots of actual sex onscreen only to be ultimately be pursued by angry overseer types who always arrive a minute too late to stop them. Of course one of their greatest enemies is a mob boss who catches them with his girlfriend and shows up later in the film to drown them in a pool during a sex party, at least until a “Stewie kills Lois” moment that changes everything.
If you liked the Three Stooges but secretly wished that there were only two of them, that they were in color ,and they often poked a variety of German prostitutes in the hinder instead of jabbing each other in the eye, well this is your film. As for the rest of us, just endure the madcap antics as you stare unblinkingly at the grainy footage of oceans of spunk being spilled while you secretly ponder silently to yourself if this is how the “Fatherland” got its name?

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